"Master of the Ship" by Courtney, Wicked Wench of the West
"With the Les Mis talk floating about the list I started thinking of how 'Master of the House' reminds me of some kind of drunken sailor song . . . or drunken wench song for that matter. I changed one line and that was it. lol Anyway, set to the tune of 'Master of the House' is my... 'Master of the Ship'. Hope you all like it." -- Courtney
Welcome wenches
Sit yourselfs
down
And meet the best
Captain around
As for the rest
All of them crooks
But he'll even let you
Play with his hook
Seldom do you see
Dashing men like he
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be...
Master of the ship
Our
"Darrrling" with the charm
If you think you'll get a
handshake
He will prove you wrong
A wench's saucy tail
Our
dirty thoughts stir
See him in red velvet and your mind will
blurr
Wenches will gladly do a "favor"
Tho that doesn't
mean that he'll play "nice"
But go ahead a risk it
It
could well be worth the price!
Master of the ship
Killer of the
crew
If you speak out of turn than he will run you through
Watch
him sip his wine
Go on take his bait
When he takes off your
nickers you will not walk straight
Every wench loves her captain
As down below we descend
We do whatever pleases
But Jesus will we
be sore in the end
Master of the ship
Quick to catch your eye
If Peter Pan flys by
Than he shall die
His fighting skills are
poor
But Captain Hook's are great
Watch that fuckin' crock get
served up on a plate!
Every wench loves her captain
Every wench
wants to take him home
We do whatever pleases
But Jesus do we
want him all alone
Sneak in wenches
Lay on his bed
Just let
that thought
Float through your head
Think about it too much
And you will burst
But as wenches we strive
To do our worst
When Pan's goose is cooked
And the lost boys have all died
Nothing is overlooked
Till Hook' s satisfied
Death beyond
compare
Death beyond belief
Spend too much time with Hook
And
he will make you queef
Ride him like a horse
While purring like a
cat
Let him fill you up
With some of this and that
Bondage is
more than welcome
We like to keep him occupied
With all the
little extras
What wench wouldn't want him deep inside?
Let him
run you through
Make you walk his plank
Watching him in a mirror
would make it
Twice as nice
There may be a slice
There may be
a cut
But if you're getting Jolly Rodgered
Who really gives a
fuck!
When it comes to pleasing wenches
There are lots of tricks
he knows
He knows what pleases
All his bits and pieces
Jesus!
It's amazing how it grows!!
Master of the ship
Quick to catch
your eye
If Peter Pan flys by
Than he shall die
His fighting
skills are poor
But Captain Hook's are great
Watch that fuckin'
crock get served up on a plate!
Every wench loves her captain
He
gives `em everything he's got
Dirty bunch of minds
But we're not
sorry for our happy thoughts
I use to dream
That I would meet a
prince
But... God Almighty!
Have you _seen_ what's happened
since?
Master of the ship
Makes me want to strip
Have you
seen that red velvet..
...ho.. ly shit!
He's got a cunning
stare
And a viscous hook
He's really quite a lover
Just
ignore the book
Seduction is his second nature
His ravishings
will be your friend
God knows you'll never last
Hook will make
you come in the end!
Master of the ship
I'd like to mount his
mast
A comfort to all wenches
He won't let you come too fast
His swells will make you soar
We're wenches to the great
Playing
with his hook
Is the icing on the cake
Every wench bless the
captain
Down with Peter Pan the louse
Every wench raise a
glass
To the wench's greatest friend
Sail against all flags
Or you will end up dead in the end!